two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize