I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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