the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize