So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize