We're like a lot better than the average bears
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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