just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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