Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
How does it feel to date your dad?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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