Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
do herpes really smell.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize