Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize