Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I want her autograph on my taint
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize