Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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