Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize