I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
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Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
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No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
the raccoons are back...
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