He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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