I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
There's always time for handjobs
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize