yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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