Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
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he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
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he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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