I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize