She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize