when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
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It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
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You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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