I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize