The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
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She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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