She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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