my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Randomize