Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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