I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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