Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize