this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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