Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize