So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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