So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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