Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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