He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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