I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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