This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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