no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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