Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
there was a trapeze. enough said
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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