I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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