Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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