why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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