Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize