I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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