eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I pour the whiskey from now on
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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