Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize