I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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