Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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