in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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