hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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