hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize