How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize